Recognition Lost: A Holiday Birthday Story

by | Dec 22, 2011 | Miller Musings | 4 comments

 

One of my cousins has his birthday on Christmas Eve.

At first glance, that might sound like a cool thing. But, consider this –

  • His birthday gets lost in the holiday rush
  • He often receives one present for both days

I don’t want you to think he’s the materialistic type that needs two presents. Quite the contrary. He’s a generous soul with a lot of heart.

But, think about how you feel when someone who matters misses your birthday.

Imagine that every year.

  • Okay, so maybe they didn’t forget
  • But, the recognition of his special day often gets overlooked
  • Who doesn’t want recognition?

Oprah refers to it as a fundamental need we have to be heard.

It’s a Childhood Thing

I confess. I am inflicted with what I call MCSS – Middle Child of Seven Syndrome.

It seems everything that drives me is to be recognized as an individual.

  • I hate to do or buy things just because everyone else does
  • I hate labels slapped on me or anyone else
  • I revel in the uniqueness of each one of us

Recently, I was feeling my cousin’s pain.

I moved in with my Mom after my Dad passed away. In theory, it was to take care of her. In truth, I think she takes better care of me than I do of her.

I started noticing a pattern. Suddenly, mail sent to us from people we both knew was addressed to both of us.

One card – two names.

  • Thanksgiving cards
  • Christmas cards

It got me thinking.

When had I married my mother?

I know – let’s blame the economy.

  • The postal rates continue to go up
  • And have you seen the price of a card?

Then I realized it’s just my MCSS kicking up again.

At least they remembered me in a card.

And how many people do you know still send cards? I like that.

So, thank you.

I dedicate this to my cousin, Chad. He’s much better at coping than I am.

  • Happy birthday, Chad – AND –
  • Merry Christmas, Chad

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Live…Laugh…Love

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4 Comments

  1. Anne Wayman

    Hey Cathy, my birthday is Jan. 6; my twins were born on Dec. 7 and today is my youngest son’s birthday, so I do know about birthdays during end of year holidays.

    When the kids were little we had a big birthday party for all three in July or August. I got away with that until Linda hit high school. She asked if she could have her own birthday party… I’d just been waiting for one of them to ask… we still did the summer thing. Now that they’re adults they mostly get a phone call from me.

    Suspect you’re coping way better than you give yourself credit for.

    Hugs,

    A

    Reply
    • Cathy

      Anne: that sounds like one continuous party. 🙂 And, yes, I have much to be thankful for, including friends like you, so I definitely cope pretty well. Merry Christmas & Happy Birthday (soon) to you, too!

      Reply
  2. Brandi

    Hi Cathy,

    This is such a sweet post. My husband’s birthday is a week before Christmas and I just had this same conversation with him. He’s had a good attitude about it overall explaining that it gave him a chance to get bigger presents (birthday + Christmas). But I can understand feeling left out. I think it was Oprah and Avatar that said that we just want to feel heard, seen, and validated for who we are. =) And just wanted to let you know that you are heard, seen and appreciated.

    Reply
    • Cathy

      Hey there, Brandi. Happy New Year! So glad I am heard and seen, but love the appreciated even more. 🙂 Thanks, Brandi, and all that right back at ‘cha!

      Reply

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