Where is Emily Post when you need her?
For those of you who do not know who she is, Emily Post was a writer best known for delivering advice on etiquette and good manners. Although she passed away in 1960, her family and legacy lives on at the Emily Post Institute.
I bet you know a few people who would benefit from their training.
Excuse Me – Am I Bothering You?
When did rudeness become viewed as positive?
I mean it must be, right? You see it everywhere.
- The customer service representative who cuts you off mid-sentence
- The caller who dials the wrong number and hangs up on you without a word
- The person who runs into you and continues on without an apology
Those are the little acts of rudeness. Some have elevated it to a higher art form.
- “Reality” TV where the most devious win
- The guest post request that turns aggressive when you say, No, thank you
I simply do not understand how someone equates rudeness with getting what they want.
Is it really that difficult to be nice?
Emily Post didn’t think so and neither do I.
- Respond to the person who prepared a proposal you asked for
- Refrain from cutting in front of another person just to save a few minutes
- Call back when you tell the caller you will
- If plans change – no matter what the situation – let others know
- Offer a simple thank you
And parents – do us a favor – teach your kids manners.
Mine did and I hope it sticks with me forever.
I welcome your comments.
Oh, and thank you. (My Mom reads this blog). 🙂
=================
Live…Laugh…Love
=================
(waving to your mom)
Hadn’t thought of reality tv being an art form, but I can see it as giving the okay to rudeness…
That’s why when I get great service I demand to talk to a supervisor so I can complement everyone… one way, in theory, to get more of what I want.
Good point about Reality TV, Anne. Calling it an art form is an injustice to art everywhere. 🙂
I have been using the kill ’em with kindness (how’s that for an oxymoron?) for some time now. It often works and gets grumpy people to turn around – at least for a little while.
Thanks for stopping by, Anne.
My mom had the same standards, Cathy, so I’m almost congenitally polite. Rudeness bothers me in the same way as it does you, but I respond (usually) by being even more polite and blowing my top privately.
I often react the same way, Sharon – with even more politeness. I do admit my little Shoulder Satan snickers if that makes the person feel guilty about their rudeness. 😉
Thanks for sharing your view, Sharon.
I may be known as Complaint Letter Queen, but believe the reason my letters work is because I’m always polite. Sure, I’ve been known to throw in a little sarcasm, but use it as a humorous way to underscore my points. Above all, I remain polite and respectful which always gets better results than being rude or obnoxious.
Two common things I find incredibly rude? 1) Having someone cut short a phone call with me when their Call Waiting beeps instead of telling the new caller they’ll call them back in a moment and finishing our conversation. 2) People who can’t get through lunch or dinner without checking e-mail or texting someone.
Oh, Paula, I love you. 🙂 I HATE call waiting and feel the same about checking email or texting.
Thanks for sharing your polite plan of attack. 🙂
Paula, amen and amen… I rarely take a call waiting call but let it roll over to messages… once in awhile I’ll take it only long enough to tell them I’ll call back.
I quit dating a fellow because he texted (?) while we were having dinner!
Hi Cathy,
This article is right on!!! I live in South Florida where (unfortunately) rudeness seems to be the norm, not the exception. Have you ever held the door for someone who does not thank you? It’s happened to me many times. How difficult is it to say “thank you?” I work with first-graders and stress kindness every day. It really takes no more energy to be kind than it does to be rude – and, being kind feels so much better! 🙂
Nicole-I am so glad to hear you are teaching your 1st graders kindness. It would be nice to start a kindness revolution, wouldn’t it?
Thanks for stopping by, Nicole.
Cathy, I am a passionate proponent of being polite. I can barely stand it when I encounter rude behavior. And those people who can’t even acknowledge you when they are greeted – what’s up with that? In my book, politeness represents respect and acknowledgement of a fellow human being. When you think about it, no matter who we are, what we do or how much money we have, we all end up the same way. Everyone deserves basic human respect. Wow…was I just ranting?
Kim-you can rant any time you want on this topic. And I love the perspective we all end up the same way. Amen.
Thanks, Kim, for sharing your view. One I wholeheartedly support. 🙂
The “me” generation has taken over. From Congress to Corporations, from folks on the street to the denizen in the next cubicle…
Oh, and it has nothing to do with us not teaching civics in school. As Cathy said, it’s parents not training their children.
Hi Roy: I, for one, am very thankful to my parents for teaching me basic courtesy and good manners. Thank you for sharing your point of view.
I have taught my son who is nearly 19 that same principle everyday and he thinks I’m nuts and over sensitive. he sees no problem with the way he speaks yet I think it is appalling sometimes. He has never seen that behaviour demonstrated at home. Has Gen Y changed the world forever? I hope not.
Sometimes it’s not the parents fault.
Madonna
Hi Madonna: As a middle child of seven, I find family dynamics fascinating. I’ve often mused why is it that children basically raised with the same values can have such different results. But, then that is what makes us unique.
Your son is still young and I’d like to believe that your teachings will stick. Thanks for sharing your story.
You can add rude commercials to the list. I hate seeing kids be rude to their parents. Then kids at home act the same way. Thanks for this article, Cathy. It is much overdue.
Hi Ann: I think that’s one of the many reasons my friend, Anne Wayman, doesn’t own a TV. 🙂 There are many things on TV that are rude.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Ann.
Actually Cathy, I find tv boring. Not owning means not watching and it frees up a ton of time 😉
In case you didn’t know it already, you’re not missing much. 🙂
My favorites are sports (for my teams), and shows that showcase creativity – like Project Runway – although I hate all the drama. The Food Network is another fav.
Hey ladies, don’t put me out of business, LOL. Remember, the bulk of my work involves covering the TV industry. (That said, there are a LOT of shows you couldn’t pay me to watch, which is probably why I’m not a TV critic.)
Paula – I don’t think you have to worry about my views on Reality TV having any effect whatsoever. 😀
I still cannot believe that Survivor and the Bachelor/Bachelorette are still on the air!
Cathy, those would be two of the shows I might be bribed to watch if given huge sums of money. The few reality competition shows I watch are more along the lines of Face Off, where actual talent is required.
Paula, I haven’t seen Face Off, but that’s not surprising. I’m so out of it. 🙂
Cathy, I was brought up with manners too and I am often appalled at the rudeness that runs rampant. I expect manners from my kids and they are doing well with their manners though it is a constant thing to teach and reteach because so many kids these days are lacking and the bad habits get picked up so much more easily!
Hi Stacy: Thanks for persevering with your kids! I think it’s definitely worth it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Stacy.
I would say that rudeness is pretty much the norm. Sometimes people don’t really intend to be rude, they just are not paying attention. Sometimes it is a struggle to be nice. I am right now knee deep in thank you notes for my child’s birthday party. I was taught to write them and am teaching my daughter to do the same, but they certainly take some time!
Hi Kristen: And I thought my Mom was the last of the written thank-you note. 🙂 She would love to hear you keep up the tradition.
I hope rudeness is not the norm. That would be very sad, but it sure seems to have become more prevalent. Thanks for stopping by, Kristen.
Beautiful rant, Cathy. You know I live in Japan, right? I’ve gotten used to how darn polite everybody is here and now when I go back to the States to visit I think I’m going to throttle someone. I don’t though. That wouldn’t help things.
Hi Greg: Yes, I did know that. My nephew is going to Japan for the summer and he has such a good heart, I know he will fit in well with the culture. Another thing I love about that culture (and Hawaii’s) is the respect for their elders. Uh-oh, I feel another rant coming on. 🙂
When you’re back in the U.S. and encounter rudeness, think of the Japanese culture and rise above. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story, Greg.